The 4th trimester

The time from when your baby is born until they're about 12 weeks old is often called the 4th trimester. It's a big transition period where you're bouncing back from giving birth and stepping into your new role as a parent.

While you're pregnant, it's all about making sure your baby is healthy. But once you hit the 3rd trimester, the focus starts shifting to the birth itself. You're thinking about how you want the birth to go and gathering all the items you'll need when your baby arrives. Maybe you took a parenting class or have friends and family who can give you some tips on newborn care, but honestly, nothing can fully prepare you for what parenting will really be like.

Depending on your situation, your partner might be able to take some time off work in those first few weeks. This is a crucial time for both of you to rest, heal, get used to being parents, and get the hang of breastfeeding. The partner's role is super important, but they might feel a bit lost on how to help best.

Let's be real: there's no other job where you're expected to figure everything out with little training or support while recovering from the birth (whether it was vaginal or a Caesarean birth), running on little sleep, and trying to understand your baby’s needs. So many questions pop up, like what a feeding cue is, when to change a nappy, and why the baby is crying.

Some new parents are lucky to have a parent figure around to help out; offer comfort, and provide reassurance. But, with many couples living far from family, this can be tricky, and visits often turn into social events instead of supportive ones.

Here's my advice for any soon-to-be or new parents going through this transition: make life as easy as possible:

Get some experienced help for those first few weeks after birth.

This help could be a family member or close friend who can come over, supporting you to rest with your baby, help with feeding, and let you recover. Or, you could hire a maternity nurse or Doula.

Think about hiring a cleaner. Take the pressure off yourself and your partner. Don't feel guilty sitting down or resting in bed or feel you need to get and put the hoover round or put the washing on.
Set up food deliveries. If friends ask what you need, suggest they drop off a pre-made nutritious meal.
Consider holding off on visitors until you're more comfortable. This allows you precious time to bond with your baby without having to share them when all you want is to hold your baby close and feed them.

At The Compassionate Midwife, I offer a special midwifery care package. Support during the first week after birth, usually with three 3-hour visits tailored to what you need. This can include newborn screening (if you want it), help with breastfeeding or infant feeding, newborn care, phone support, and taking care of the parents by handling light chores, laundry, and meal prep at a time that works for you. This way, as you settle into parenting, you'll be taken care of too.